Lost Cause
by Rikkudo
Summary: Some people will always fight. Itachi just wishes that he didn't have to be involved. Fem!Naruto/Sasuke, Short Drabbles. Backstory to 'A New Dawn' on my main account Duesal Bladesinger.
1. Chapter 1

**Lost Cause**

Children are a bit strange. They can be brutally honest to others without reproach, yet when it comes to themselves and their feelings they are left floundering.

Uchiha Itachi mused on this as he watched his own little brother bickering with Yondaime-sama's daughter about who was to push whom on the swing-set. The argument slowly degenerated until the two children were calling each other various feces-based names. It seemed that whoever came up with the most distasteful name would win. That's how these days usually went, anyway.

And then a minor scuffle would follow... which was starting right now.

Itachi picked himself up off of his bench with a sigh, taking a moment to dust off his clothes.

"My hair isn't a duck butt! Take it back!"

Naruko blew a raspberry at Sasuke.

Sasuke promptly threw sand in her face.

The girl screamed bloody murder and barreled blindly into her assailant, viciously kicking and clawing at anything she could her her hands on. Sasuke wasn't nearly as terrified as he probably should have been, instead doing his fair share of kicking and punching (Naruko's face was a particularly enticing target).

Itachi merely observed from his new perch atop the jungle gym. His usual policy was to let them fight it out until they collapsed. It happened every single time.

The other children didn't even look in their direction, having long-since grown bored of a fight that they knew would never end.

After almost an hour with bloody noses, pulled hair, a black eye or two, and scratched and thoroughly battered limbs, the two hellions collapsed, utterly spent. Itachi chose that moment to swoop in and sling both of them over his shoulders, making a beeline straight for his house so he could dump them in a bed of some sort.

Babysitting for these two was a lot easier than he thought it'd be.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_So, this is the first of a series of short drabbles. Read and review?_

_In any case, credit for the idea itself goes to a friend of mine, Ekusukallybaa (whose stuff you all should be reading instead). He wrote 'Genius and Insanity', a chapter of which is the undeniable source of inspiration that I had for this story. These drabbles, however, are intended to go a bit further than that._


	2. Chapter 2

Iruka wondered who he'd pissed off in a past life to deserve this.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was chasing a laughing Naruko around the classroom, screaming, "I'll get you! I'll get you!" Somehow, Akamaru had joined the impromptu hunt, forcing an anxious Kiba to race after him. The rest of the class was in a state of total anarchy, with students arguing loudly and some outright fighting each other.

At some point one of the desks was thrown through a window and a bunch of the students started diving out of the classroom.

Children from shinobi families were harder to deal with in general than their civilian-raised counterparts, but this was just ridiculous. Iruka fought back the urge to simply walk away.


	3. Chapter 3

One day, Sasuke spilled Naruko's ramen.

All hell broke loose.

Itachi watched the pair disappear out the patio door (or through it, depending on your view), hearing as a panic-stricken Sasuke did his best to avoid certain death. He distantly realized that he should probably follow the two. To make sure they didn't kill each other or anything. Not because watching them fight was fun. Certainly not. Itachi was far too sophisticated for that.

* * *

"You killed it! You _killed _it!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"Your sorry doesn't matter! My ramen is _dead_ because of you!"

"But ramen isn't even alive!"

Itachi fought back a chuckle as he tailed his wayward brother and Yondaime-sama's daughter. They hadn't caused much property damage yet, so he saw no reason not to let Naruko blow off a little steam. His brother would survive, he was sure.

That was when Sasuke tripped on nothing but thin air.

Naruko pounced on the opportunity. And on Sasuke.

Itachi just winced from his vantage point atop a roof in the market district. That looked incredibly painful.


	4. Chapter 4

Itachi was still puzzling over how Naruko had managed to convince Maito Gai that Sasuke desperately wanted to embrace the Springtime of Youth.

He and Naruko sat to the side, watching as poor Sasuke was run down by a blur of green. He didn't even try to remprimand Naruko for her prank—not only would the lesson never stick, but Sasuke was going to do his damndest to get even regardless of how Naruko was punished. Itachi found that it was best to let his little brother and Yondaime-sama's daughter resolve their issues on their own, if only because there was less work for him that way.

There was a sudden scream of anguish, and Naruko doubled over in laughter. Itachi spotted Sasuke sprinting towards them with murder in his eyes, Gai loudly praising his sudden burst of speed from some distance behind.

Itachi was ridiculously thankful that his sharingan hadn't activated in that particular moment. Somehow, he didn't think he could take remembering Sasuke dressed like _that_.


	5. Chapter 5

On his first day at the ninja Academy, Sasuke noticed something weird.

At the first opportunity, he pulled Naruko off to the side during recess. "Something weird's going on," he hissed.

Naruko frowned. "What's _that_ supposed to mean? _And why are we whispering_?"

Sasuke scowled, but managed to resist the urge to snap at the girl. "This is important! I think all the girls in our class are gonna do something to me!"

"Haa?" Naruko's mouth was open in disbelief, coupled with a raised eyebrow and a scrunched-up nose. Sasuke would have laughed if he wasn't trying to be serious for a change (he probably would have been a much more serious kid if he didn't spend so much time with Naruko).

"They won't stop staring at me!" It had been happening all day, and now Sasuke was thoroughly unnerved.

"Oh, is that all? And I thought you pulled me off the swings for something important."

"This _is_ important!"

"You're overreacting, scardy-cat. I'm sure they're just wondering how you got your hair to look like a—"

"If you say it I will rub sand in your eyes, then squeeze lemon juice over them."

Naruko's mouth snapped shut, until she thought of something else. "Waitaminute. Whaddya want _me_ to do about this?"

"You're a girl, so go find out what they want!"

"Ehhhh!? But they're all so _girly_!"

"Suck it up and do it, or I'll convince Kaa-San that it's too unhealthy too feed you ramen whenever you come over."

Naruko's eyes widened. "You wouldn't," she whimpered.

Sasuke remained impassive, having long ago gained an immunity to the puppydog eyes.

Naruko gave up after a minute. "Fine," she huffed. "I'll go see what they want."

* * *

She came back at the very end of recess, easy finding Sasuke who was hiding in a tree.

"Well?" he asked, abandoning his cover as he hopped down. "Do they want to kill me?"

"... No."

"Torture me?"

"No."

"Oh, that's good then. And I though I had to be worried."

"Some of them want to kidnap you, though."

"Huh?"

"And force you to go on a date with them so you'll see how great they are."

"_Huh?!_"

Sasuke noticed that Naruko's face was completely red. It was strange. This was the first time he'd seen her blush out of embarrassment rather than anger.

"They also yelled at me for . . . 'hogging you'."

"For _what_?"

"I'm not saying it again!"

"Okay, okay!" He paused before looking at her again. "Wait, so does this mean they _li_—"

"_Yes_, dumbass!" Naruko said with a shove, pushing him into the ground. "I don't know what they see in you, though," she sniffed before turning and walking away.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey, Naruko, wanna go play on the jungle gym?"

"No. Go away."

"... Fine."

* * *

"Hey, Naruko, wanna come play on the swings with me?"

"I don't _want_ to. Just go away and leave me alone."

"Alright, _fine_. No need to be mean about it."

* * *

"Hey, Naruko, you probably don't want to, but some of the other kids found a ball. You wanna come play soccer with us or something?"

"I don't want to play with you, Sasuke! Go away!"

This time Sasuke left without a word.

* * *

Itachi looked at his little brother with a critical eye. He shook his head with a sigh. "Foolish little brother."

Sasuke bristled. "If you're not going to help me, I can just go ask someone else, you know!"

Itachi just offered a soft smile. "No need for that. We can fix this, just the two of us."

Sasuke glared suspiciously at his older brother before looking dejectedly at the ground. "I don't even know why she's mad at me," he muttered.

Itachi laughed at that. "One day when you're older, you'll understand. And when that day comes, it'll already be too late."

Sasuke scowled. "Too late for what?"

Itachi's smirk was his only answer.


	7. Chapter 7

Itachi found Naruko all alone curled up on a bench in the park. There was the regular ANBU guard, of course, but they may as well have been statues for all the companionship they provided.

Itachi shook his head and made his way to the bench before sitting down next to the girl.

She didn't even bother to look up, mumbling, "Go away. I was here first."

Itachi smiled softly as he looked at the wind playing with the swings. "Come now, Naruko. You've never minded my company, have you?"

She looked up cautiously, a single eye peeking out of her mess of blonde hair. "Itachi-nii?"

Itachi's smile only grew softer as he reached over and hugged her tiny frame close to his side, allowing her to latch onto him and bury her face into his shirt.

"Would you like to talk about it?" he asked.

"No..." she muttered. "Not really. It's just, I—" She pulled her head free and he saw confusion swirling in her gaze as she struggled to make sense of her own emotions.

Itachi said nothing, merely tilting his head, and she buried her face in his shirt again, saying in a muffled voice, "I don't even know, Itachi-nii. I don't know what's wrong."

He hummed thoughtfully before venturing, "I think I do."

Naruko instantaneously sat up ramrod-straight. "You do?!" she exclaimed, her face suddenly bright with hope. "Tell me!"

"I _think_ I do," he repeated.

Naruko only wilted for a few seconds before bouncing up to his face. "Tell me anyway!"

Itachi let his face assume the seriousness he thought that a nine-year-old would need to see to keep from getting embarrassed. "You've got a crush on Sasuke, don't you?"

Naruko's mouth dropped open, and she slowly turned beet-red. Well, so much for sparing her from embarrassment.

"That's why you keep avoiding him," he continued, not giving her a chance to protest. "You have these feelings for him and you have no idea what to do with them, so you just avoid him altogether."

"Bu-But I—"

"Naruko," Itachi interrupted. She stilled as he looked down at her with a critical eye. "Running away from your feelings is the worst way to deal with them. They won't go away, and every day it gets worse until it eventually explodes." He'd seen it happen bad enough to Shisui that he swore he'd never make the same mistake.

The young girl blinked back tears before staring at the ground. "Then... what am I supposed to do? I can't _tell_ him! He'd look at me all weird, and it'd never be the same again!"

Itachi shrugged. "Naruko?" The girl looked up. "Tell me, is Sasuke at all different?" Hesitantly, she shook her head. "That's right, he's still the same Sasuke. The only thing that's changed over the past few days is how you've been treating him."

Naruko winced. "He hates me, doesn't he?" she mumbled dejectedly.

Itachi sighed. "No, he doesn't hate you. He's just confused. He doesn't know why his best friend doesn't want him around anymore."

She looked up with pained confusion. "But how am I supposed to be around him and act all... _normal?_"

Itachi scoffed. "Naruko, when I say you don't have to worry about these things, I mean it. Sasuke's as dense as they come. He won't notice anything's different until you're both well into your teenage years."

The little girl glared suspiciously at the older boy. "You promise?" she asked in a small voice.

"I promise," Itachi reassured her, his dark eyes glimmering with amusement. "Now come on, I'll get you some ramen."


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh, look, it's Naruko. Are you gonna tell me to go away again?"

If possible, the dejected expression on her face grew even more depressed. "Look, Sasuke, I—"

"No, that's fine. I'll just go and leave you alone."

"What? No, you idiot, just _listen_—"

"So now I'm an idiot? Is insulting me all you came here to do?" Sasuke made to close (slam) his front door, but Naruko, sensing what he was about to do, barreled her way inside. As a result, both children ended up in a cursing, tangled pile of limbs.

Pulling himself free, Sasuke stood up with a glare as heated as a ten-year-old could muster. "What the heck was that for?!"

Naruko glared right back. "You were gonna slam the door in my face!"

"Well, _you're_ the one who acts like you don't want to be friends anymore!"

"I'm sorry, okay?!"

Sasuke blinked. He hadn't been expecting an apology, especially from Naruko. But in the end his resolve would not be broken. "Well, I'm still mad at you!"

Naruko's expression grew _fierce_, and she latched onto Sasuke with a savage growl, ignoring his yelp at the brutally tight hug. "That's too bad, because you don't have a choice! We're best friends whether you like it or not!"

As Sasuke gasped and feebly tried to tell Naruko that while it was nice that they were friends again, air was nice too and he'd like his lungful now please, Itachi watched unnoticed from a corner of the house with a smile on his face.

Dealing with those two was a messy affair, but somehow it always managed to work out in the end.


	9. Chapter 9

A few years into the Academy, Naruko and Sasuke were sitting on the dock overlooking the Uchiha's lake, wasting away the evening while steadily working through a giant box of dango that Naruko had somehow gotten her hands on.

After a while, the sun set on the opposite shore, casting the water in shades of burnished gold and scarlet red, sending glimmering beams of light in every direction. Entranced, Sasuke almost missed his friend's question. He blinked. "What?"

Naruko huffed irritably. "I _said_, what do you like about me?"

Sasuke turned his head in absolute confusion. "Where the hell's this coming from?"

Naruko blinked, then shrugged. "I dunno. It's just that you're always with me instead of the other girls from class, and..." She trailed off and kicked her feet in the water.

Sasuke snorted, then looked ahead. "Do I need to like something about you?"

About a second later he was splashing in the lake, drenched from head to toe. Gasping, he hauled himself onto the dock, only to see that damnable blonde storming out of the Uchiha Compound.


	10. Chapter 10

Sasuke found her an hour later, sitting all alone at one of the swings and watching the younger kids play. He sighed as she deliberately turned her head away from him.

"You're impossible, you know that?" he informed her gravely, ignoring the burning glare that snapped to his face. "You never even tell me what's wrong before you go and throw tantrums like this."

If possible, Naruko's glare got even hotter before she looked away to stare bitterly at the ground instead. "_You're _the impossible one," she muttered.

Sasuke frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Naruko looked at him with the most disdain he'd ever seen from anyone in his entire life, so much that he actually recoiled from under her gaze. "If you're gonna be such a good shinobi, how come you can't notice what's right in front of you, huh?"

Sasuke was getting very confused. "What are you _talking_ about? Are the other girls bullying you? Is that it?"

Defeat slowly crept its way across Naruko's face, and she slowly got up and began trudging home.

Sasuke almost called out to the girl, but he didn't have the slightest idea what was wrong.


	11. Chapter 11

Itachi found Naruko atop her father's stone head carved into the Hokage Monument, hugging her knees to her chest with a lost look in her eyes. He sat down with a sigh, and she hugged her knees tighter to herself.

"Itachi-nii, why's Sasuke so stupid?"

Itachi glanced over to Naruko's pouting face and resisted the urge to grin in amusement. "Boy's are blind," he replied. "They have no idea when someone has feelings for them. It's only when they become men that they begin to notice, and even then some never do."

The Uchiha reached out and ruffled Naruko's hair, chuckling at the way she scowled and swiped at his hand. "My little brother isn't a mind reader, Naruko. But he will learn. Eventually."

"'Eventually'. Yeah, right," Naruko sulked, sinking her head even lower until most of her face was hidden behind her legs. "Sasuke's always gonna be a moron, isn't he?"

Itachi merely smiled and ruffled her hair again.

* * *

"Naruko!"

Naruko, who had been on her way to Ichiraku's ramen stand, turned around, only to be tackled into an alleyway by a blur of blue and crashing straight into a dumpster.

"Ow! What the—_Sasuke!_" she shrieked, immediately clambering out of the trash bins and shoving Sasuke back inside when he tried to get out as well. "What the hell is your problem?!"

"_You_, Naruko! _You're_ my problem!"

Naruko paused, honestly taken aback. "Huh?"

Scowling, Sasuke violently shoved a trashcan to the side (apparently not noticing the banana peel on his shoulder) and stood so that his gaze was level with hers, and Naruko wondered if his expression had always been so... _angry_. "How the hell am I supposed to decide?"

Naruko blinked. "Wait, _what?_"

"How the hell am I supposed to just _pick_, huh?" Sasuke glared at her, and Naruko quailed under the emotions in his stare. "How do I just pick and choose what I like about you? It's not that simple! I don't even _know _the specifics!"

Naruko face crumpled with her exasperation. "Oh, come on! There has to be _something _you can think of!"

"Well, not off the top of my head!"

"Why the hell not?!"

Sasuke stared at her with such helpless frustration that Naruko almost felt sorry for him.

"Because I like all of you!"

Naruko froze, going still to the ends of her hair. _What?_

"You're my best friend, Naruko!" Naruko felt something inside of her wither. Was that all that he thought of her? His friend? She didn't have time to dwell on it as he went on. "How do I just decide what I like about the person I like the most? I don't know what you want to hear!"

The person he liked the most?

As Sasuke scowled and started tearing at his hair, Naruko felt her lips twitch up ever so slightly.

"That's alright," she heard herself say. "You don't have to say anything else."

"What?" Sasuke said, peering at her suspiciously. "Are you lying to me? Is this another excuse to get mad at me?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "That was enough for me."

After observing her for a moment to see if it was some kind of a trap, Sasuke sagged with relief. "Thank God that's finally over. Not talking to you sucks."

Naruko just laughed, her voice light and clear. "You have a banana peel on your shoulder, dumbass."

"Wha—aw, come on!"


	12. Chapter 12

Naruko, Sasuke mused, was a rather simple person. Not that he'd ever be dumb enough to say that to her face, but the point still stood.

When she thought something, she'd say (shout) it. When she wanted something, she'd grab it.

But lately, Naruko had been breaking her mould, so to speak. She was growing more pensive and withdrawn. She would _hesitate_ before she said what was on her mind. Sasuke didn't know what was going on with his best friend, but he didn't like it.

* * *

Sasuke was staring at her as she dangled her legs over the edge of the dock, splashing her feet into his Clan's lake. Naruko hummed out a simple tune (or at least tried. No one had the heart to tell her that she was completely tone-deaf) as she looked out to the horizon, watching the sun as it sunk low in the treeline.

The whiskered girl turned irritably towards him. "Do you mind?!" she snapped. "You're creeping me out!"

Sasuke didn't so much as twitch at her outburst. "You're different," he accused.

Naruko scowled at him. "What?! No I'm not! You're just imagining things!"

Sasuke wasn't buying it, though. He shot her a pointed look. "You're totally different! You're quieter and you actually _think_ about things before you say them. Since when do you do that?!"

Naruko's face turned red. "Sasuke, you don't say those sorts of things to a girl!"

Sasuke scrunched up his nose. "What? Why not?!"

Naruko flailed a bit. "You... you just don't!" She abruptly stood and Sasuke flinched away, half-afraid that she'd try to push him into the water again. "You know what? I'm leaving!" Saying so, the Yondaime's daughter once again stormed out of the Uchiha compound, a scene that was becoming a bit too familiar for the various Uchiha Clan members.

Sasuke stared after her, realizing that he still didn't know why she was acting different than she usually did.


	13. Chapter 13

Sasuke frowned up at Naruko. She glared back down at him.

Something was very wrong here.

"Are you _taller _than me?!" Sasuke squeaked.

She was. By a full two inches, apparently overnight.

Naruko's glare grew even darker. "Yeah? _So?_"

"Tha-That's, that's not allowed!" Sasuke eventually managed to sputter.

Naruko scrunched up her face. "Why? Because _you_ said so?"

"Because boys are always taller than girls!" Sasuke yelled. "That's how it's supposed to be!"

Naruko had been feeling rather moody lately, so it came as no surprise when she leaned down and sneered, "I guess you're not that good at being a _boy_, then. _Itachi-nii's_ always been taller than the girls _his_ age."

She didn't know if that was true or not, but it probably was. Itachi-nii was amazing.

With a howl of fury, Sasuke launched himself at the taller girl and they both went toppling into the lake.

From a distance, Itachi slapped a palm to his forehead, wisely deciding to stay in the sidelines.


	14. Chapter 14

Sasuke was still rather sour over the fact that Naruko had (_temporarily!_ Nii-san promised!) grown taller than him.

Every day after he came home, he'd go pester his mother until she took him to the kitchen wall and measured his height.

Today, Sasuke stood ramrod straight, mightily resisting the urge to stand up on his toes. As much as he wanted to be taller, he wanted to _actually_ be taller. And there was no way he'd convince Naruko by cheating, anyway.

He frowned as the memories of what she'd said to him resurfaced.

"Mom?" he asked as she finished drawing the pen across the top of his head on the wall. He turned around and drooped when he saw that she was just drawing on top of the line from yesterday and the day before that. "Am I ever going to grow taller?" he mumbled dejectedly.

Mikoto aww'd and fondly ran a hand through his hair, and he leaned into the comfort of her touch. "Don't worry, Sasuke. Just give it a few years and you'll be taller than Naruko. In fact," she continued, her eyes appraising his growing body, "by the looks of it, you might end up taller than Itachi."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Taller than Nii-san? No way."

Mikoto smiled and tweaked his nose. "You're taller than your brother was at your age," she informed him. "It could happen."

Sasuke found himself hoping against hope. "Do you really think so?"

"I really think so," Mikoto reassured him, taking a moment to ruffle his hair and smiling at his resulting scowl. "Give it time, Sasuke. You'll grow up strong."


	15. Chapter 15

"Hey, shorty, what's that on your lip?"

"Don't call me that!" Sasuke snapped, instantly rounding on Naruko. "And there's nothing on my lip!"

"Yeah there is!" Naruko insisted. "You've got peach fuzz!"

Sasuke made to deliver a scathing retort, then froze and cautiously fingered his upper lip.

"I have a mustache?" he breathed, before his eyes brightened. "I have a mustache!"

Naruko frowned, clearly not expecting Sasuke to be excited about a few hairs. They didn't even _look_ that good.

"Are you gonna shave or what? They look hideous, Sasuke."

Sasuke glared at her. "Not on your life! I'm going to grow the best beard ever!"

"... Even Itachi-nii doesn't have a beard."

"He shaves!"

"It doesn't _look_ like he shaves!"

"Well, what do _you _know? You're never around in the morning!"

"... At least I'm not a shorty."

Sasuke tackled Naruko and they went tumbling off the dock into the Uchiha Clan lake. Again.

At this point, Itachi's forehead was becoming rather red from being slapped so many times by his palm.


	16. Chapter 16

"Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka turned away from the blackboard, only to find Yondaime-sama's daughter with her hand thrusted into the air. "Yes, Naruko?"

"Sasuke stinks! Can you make him go take a shower?"

The boy in question immediately turned red and began sputtering as everyone looked at him and quietly snickered. Or not-so-quietly in Kiba's case.

"I showered this morning!" Sasuke hissed, glaring daggers at his blonde friend (although he'd seriously been questioning the 'friend part' lately).

Naruko inched her chair away from his and deliberately pinched her nose. "Well it didn't work!" she said in a nasally voice. "You have to take another one!"

"But I don't smell!" Sasuke protested.

One of the braver girls scooted closer and took a brief whiff while Sasuke wasn't looking before immediately scrambling away, her hand clamped firmly over her nose. "It smells like he rolled around in garbage!"

The class erupted in laughter as Iruka vainly attempted to calm them down.

Sasuke gave up and moved to the very back of the room, away from everyone else. Naruko's fingers stubbornly remained pinched over her nose, even though he was now twenty feet away.

* * *

A week later, all the boys in class were forced to sit through the most awkward and embarrassing video ever, educated about the "wonderful and fascinating" changes their bodies were going through.

The girls laughed when they heard, but almost immediately after in a display of karmic justice they had their own video to suffer through.

* * *

After that, Sasuke begrudgingly started using this strange thing called deodorant.


	17. Chapter 17

One day on the way to school, Sasuke noticed that something was different about his best friend. And not just the usual different of acting weird or asking strange questions (he still hadn't figured out what he was supposed to like about her).

Well, actually, she _was_ acting weird. Kind of.

"I hate everything," she moaned, dragging her feet and slouching for all she was worth. "I wish I could just stay in bed and never get up."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Well hello to you too, Ms. Sunshine."

Naruko shoved him with a snarl that was more exhausted than it was angry. "Don't bother me today, Sasuke. I mean it."

Sasuke, who'd been about to trip her in retaliation, glared. "Just today?" he muttered, continuing by Naruko's side mid-complaint. "You've been acting this way for days."

Naruko bristled and bared her teeth in warning. "Shut up, you jerk!" she snapped, her tone quite a bit sharper than usual.

Their walk slowed to a halt as the two thirteen-year-olds shot venomous looks at each other in the middle of the street.

Sasuke's frown deepened. "I don't get it. What did I say?"

"You just—You're so inconsiderate, you know that?! I don't know why I put up with you!"

"You don't know why _you_ put up with _me_? Are you kidding me?" Sasuke noticed that this happened far too often for his liking. Every month or so, Naruko just became so _grouchy_, and for no reason at all. Being the best friend, he ended up taking the brunt of her venom, something he wasn't entirely thrilled about.

"What's going on with you?" Sasuke demanded.

Naruko blanched, as though shocked Sasuke had the nerve to ask. "_What?_"

"I _said_," Sasuke repeated, feeling far braver than would be considered safe, "what's going on with you? You get like this every month! Is there something wrong with your head? Are you actually insane?"

That was when Naruko lunged at him with a screech that scared away the nearby birds. Itachi had to pull her off, still scratching and clawing, and after he dropped a surly Naruko back at her house, he took Sasuke to their mother to get an unwanted (but very much needed) lesson on female anatomy.

Sasuke couldn't bring himself to even look at a girl for more than a week.


	18. Chapter 18

One month later, Sasuke noticed Naruko getting grumpier than usual. At first he paid it no heed, but when the girl doubled over without warning and rushed to the bathroom, comprehension (entirely unwanted comprehension) flooded through his mind, and he ran away.

This ritual continued for month after month with Sasuke fleeing at the slightest sign of an impending period, and Naruko growing all the grumpier for it. Her explosion was all but inevitable.

"Stop running away from me!" she screamed at him, clutching at the collar of his shirt in a death-grip.

Wide-eyed, Sasuke wondered in the back of his mind if this Naruko was just normal-mad or if she was _that_-mad. Something told him that he'd better not say anything about it, though. He'd seen what Naruko did to Kiba. It wasn't pretty.

"I'm not running away," Sasuke lied, a healthy sense of self-preservation taking the reigns. "I just really need to go to the bathroom."

Naruko's eyes narrowed, and Sasuke could see the suspicion in her scowl. "You've been 'going to the bathroom' for the past three days! Fess up! You're avoiding me!"

Sasuke's annoyance flared. Naruko got mad if he hung out with her, and now she was mad when he didn't? There was no winning here.

"Do you blame me?" he demanded, prying her fingers off of his shirt and staring her right in the eyes. "You're not exactly someone who people _want_ to be around when you're like this."

Naruko flinched, and her expression grew so angry that Sasuke thought she might try to rip his head off. "You're such a _jerk_, you know that?! You're always so _mean_, and saying all the wrong things, and, and—" Before she could say more, her face crumpled and tears streamed down her face as she began to sob, her shoulders shaking in her misery. She looked at him with such _hurt_ that Sasuke took a step back, unsure of what to do or even say.

"I _hate_ you!" Naruko cried.

Sasuke could only watch dumbfounded as his best friend ran away.


	19. Chapter 19

Mikoto sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Sasuke scowled defensively. "What? It wasn't like I said anything that wasn't true!"

Mikoto shook her head slowly at her son as she continued to stir the vegetables and meat over the stove. "Sasuke, even if it's true, you have to be especially considerate towards women when they're going through that time every month. Women tend to feel a lot of pain and discomfort at that time, so it's important to be kind to them until it's over."

Sasuke stubbornly propped his hands up on his fists as he leaned against the kitchen's granite counter, his legs swinging from the tall bar chair. "Even if it hurts for her, I don't see why Naruko has to take it out on _me_. It's not like _I_ had anything to do with it."

Mikoto paused in her stirring and looked up with motherly sympathy. "Oh, Sasuke, I'm sure Naruko doesn't mean to hurt you. She just can't help it quite yet."

Sasuke's frown deepened. "That still doesn't make it okay," he muttered, almost to himself.

"No, it doesn't," Mikoto agreed. "That's why you have to be the bigger person."

Sasuke looked up. "Huh? How come _I_ have to be the bigger person? I didn't do anything wrong!"

Mikoto set down her spatula and tweaked Sasuke's nose, eliciting a yelp of protest that made her smile. "I know, Sasuke. But that doesn't mean that Naruko's feelings weren't hurt."

She saw her son hesitate as guilt worked its way into his scowl until it became more of a grimace. "She's not going to listen to me even if I say I'm sorry. She's just going to tell me to go away. Besides," he continued in a mumble, "it's not like I want to see her like that anyway."

Mikoto smiled softly and ruffled her son's hair. "I know you'll make me proud."

"Agh! Quit _guilting_ me, mom!" Sasuke cried as he swiped at her hand. "That's not fair!"

"What?" Mikoto asked with an innocent laugh that cause her son to glare at her suspiciously. "I know it's true. At the end of the day, you'll make me proud."

She walked around the counter and wrapped her arms around him, and Sasuke leaned into her embrace, quiet and pensive.


	20. Chapter 20

"Come on, princess. You wanna talk about it?"

Naruko sunk deeper into her blanket, and the saddest voice Minato had ever heard from her, she whined. "No."

Minato settled down next to the lump on Naruko's bed with an exaggerated carefulness, before hesitantly rubbing what he assumed to be his daughter's back. "You know you can tell me anything, don't you?"

"I know," came the mumbled response.

Minato sighed. "Still don't want to talk, huh?"

Naruko stayed silent, but Minato could feel her leaning into his touch, and he wrapped his arms around his blob of a daughter. After a few minutes, Naruko's head popped out of her blanket, and she looked at him with such misery that Minato's first instinct was to go out and obliterate whatever it was that had made his little girl so sad.

"Sasuke's a big jerk, daddy."

Minato's plans ground to a halt. He'd known that boy since he was born. Kushina and Sasuke's mother had been on the same genin team. Sasuke called him _uncle_. Damn it all, there wasn't much he could do about this situation that involved killing and maiming. He was completely out of his element.

Time for a different approach.

"What happened?" he asked.

Naruko's eyes got misty, and then Minato heard all about how Sasuke had been avoiding her lately, and when she confronted him about it (knowing Naruko's personality, that had probably been a volatile affair) Sasuke told her that she wasn't exactly someone he wanted to be around when it was that time of month.

Minato may have been restricted from violence, but he and Sasuke were _definitely_ going to have a talk about that.

Retribution would have to wait, however. Right now, Minato had a miserable daughter to attend to.

"Hey, princess." Naruko looked up, her lip wobbling dangerously, and Minato quickly delivered his distraction to her woes. "How about we go down to Ichiraku's? It'll make you feel better."

"Promise?" Naruko asked in a tiny voice.

Minato smiled and ruffled his daughter's blonde hair, making Minato even more worried when she let him do it without protest. He hid it behind a reassuring smile. "I promise. A bowl of Ichiraku's can make anything better."

"Okay." Naruko slipped out of her blanket cocoon and latched onto her father's back, wrapping her arms around his neck and his legs around his waste.

Minato chuckled, got up from the bed with his daughter still latched onto him, and within a moment they'd both vanished, a yellow flash fading fast in their wake.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_Congrats to Igornerd for nabbing the 100th review. Also, a big thanks to the rest of you for continuing to read and review. I really appreciate it._


	21. Chapter 21

Naruko looked up from her bed, only to see Sasuke standing at the door to her room, looking incredibly uncomfortable.

"Um, your mom let me in."

Naruko glared at Sasuke before looking away, trying to hide the way her eyes were getting wet. She wasn't crying. She _wasn't. _

"Can I come in?"

"_No_."

She pulled her blanket over her head and curled up into a ball, willing him to take the hint and go away.

Naruko heard the door close shut, then feet shuffling across the floor towards her. She bit back an indignant scream, not quite trusting her voice to remain steady at that moment. A lump lodged itself in her throat, and suddenly it became hard to swallow.

She didn't know why she felt so sad. They'd fought before. Worse than this. A lot worse. But for some reason, this time it just hurt more.

"I'm sorry about what I said," she heard Sasuke say softly. "I didn't mean it. You're my best friend, and I shouldn't treat you like that."

After a moment of silence, Sasuke sighed. "I guess I'll leave you alone then. I'm sorry."

Naruko's eyes shot wide open in panic, and she threw off her covers just as Sasuke turned around to go. "Wait!"

The boy flinched and regarded her warily. "Yeah?"

"I'm-" Naruko hesitated for a moment before she seemed to deflate. "I'm sorry, too."

Sasuke frowned. "Naruko, you don't have to-"

"Just let me finish, Sasuke!" she snapped.

He blinked in surprise, and she offered an apologetic grimace. "I've been kinda mean to you, too."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, and Naruko could practically _hear_ the derisive snort.

She scowled at him. "Just shut up and _listen_, alright?!"

Sasuke raised both hands innocently. Bastard.

Naruko scowled some more and kicked at the floor. Apologizing was a lot harder than she thought it'd be. "I'm sorry I keep calling you short, and that I keep making fun of your mustache. I'm sorry I keep snapping at you even when you haven't done anything to deserve it."

For a moment there was silence, until Naruko looked up. "Well?! _Say_ something!"

Sasuke only laughed, "You have ramen-themed pajamas? Are you kidding me?"

_It's okay. I forgave you a while ago._

Naruko looked up and her face went beet-red. "Well they're better than your stupid cat ones!"

_I'm relieved._

**Author's Note: **_I have a confession. __This story is actually my war against romance. I HATE romance with a fiery passion. Just describing emotions over and over again, beating us over the head with it. So one day I decided to write a romance story that makes zero mention of actual emotion. This is the result. I'm glad you guys seem to be enjoying it._


	22. Chapter 22

"Mother, no! Don't—"

"Too late~" Mikoto sing-songed, carefully selecting an album from a large pile. She moved to sit on the couch and began looking at the photos with a very un-Uchiha-like grin. "Look, Naruko. This is Sasuke when he was one and decided he was too good for clothes."

Naruko eagerly leaped towards the couch, laughter in her eyes, and just as Sasuke was about to desperately tackle her, an arm hooked around his midsection and brought him to a sudden halt.

He glared daggers at the unwelcome intervention. "You too, Itachi?!"

Sasuke's older brother chuckled. "Foolish little brother. Mother is just having fun. There's nothing wrong with that."

"But—but—I'M SURROUNDED BY TRAITORS!"

Sasuke immediately tried to bite Itachi in his attempt to get away, only to find his mouth suddenly duct-taped shut and his hands and feet bound by rope. He fell to the floor with a dull thud, where he awkwardly moved like a very pissed-off caterpillar.

Mikoto and Naruko looked up from the baby picture album, and Naruko's sniggering abruptly halted as she howled with laughter, actually rolling off the couch and bumping into a fuming Sasuke.

"MMRPH!" Sasuke screamed, his insults completely muffled by the tape over his mouth.

"Language, Sasuke," Itachi chided, as though he'd somehow understood in the first place.

Mikoto pressed her hand to her forehead with a sigh. "Not too tight, right Itachi?"

"Of course, mother," came the solemn reply, although if you listened closely enough, the voice was just a bit lighter than usual.

* * *

**Author's Note:** _In my defense, it's way too much fun torturing Sasuke. :P_

_Anyway, this is shameless self-advertising at its finest. Some of you might be aware that this is not my main account. My main account is under the penname Duesal Bladesinger._

_I'm bringing this up because I've recently completed a multi-chapter story for the very first time, and I'd be very grateful if you guys checked it out. It's called "Gilded," and I would say more about it, but I'd really rather not spoil it. _

_Well, I can share an alternative summary with you guys: "If something seems too good to be true, that's because it IS."_


	23. Chapter 23

"Hey, old man!"

Teuchi turned around, a smile already across his wrinkling features. "Naruko, good to see you! The usual?"

At the enthusiastic affirmative, the aging man chuckled and turned to the blonde girl's companion. "And what about you, Sasuke? What are we trying today?"

Sasuke slid onto one of the stools and made a show of eyeing the menu, his eyes darting over the entrées. "Hmm, can I get the beef?"

"Of course! You're the customer!" Teuchi winked, earning a half-smile from the Uchiha. He counted that as a victory, even if Sasuke was leagues more expressive than most other Uchiha.

As Teuchi set about preparing the ingredients he needed, Ayame came bustling in through the back, her hands laden with bags full of groceries. "Hey dad, Sayaka-san wasn't there today, so I couldn't get any-oh! Naruko! Sasuke! I haven't seen you in days!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and scoffed, "We were here two days ago. It hasn't been that long."

"That's plenty long," Ayame said earnestly, setting down the grocery bags and putting a pot of water on the stove to boil. "You two are our best customers. We'd lose half our profit if you didn't show up every day."

"If you're worried about that, I can just convince mother to hire your services full-time for the Uchiha," Sasuke casually said, as though buying up restaurants were something his family did on a daily basis.

Dead silence.

Sasuke was oblivious to this, instead noticing that for whatever reason Ayame was allowing the water to boil over. "Ayame, why are you—" He trailed off when he saw her blankly staring at him, and his confusion quickly transformed to caution when he saw that exact same expression of disbelief on Teuchi and Naruko's faces. "What?" he demanded.

"Sasuke..."

Sasuke immediately got goosebumps at Naruko's ominously low tone. Slowly, he turned to face her. Her eyes were shadowed by her hair, and her mouth was twisted into a feral snarl. It was like staring death in the face. How was a twelve-year-old girl this scary?

Out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw Ayame and her father glance at each other and nervously take a step back.

"If you buy Ichiraku's ramen stand and take it away from me, I will _find you_, because _I know where you live_."

Needless to say, Sasuke never brought up the subject ever again.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_Naruto was born on 10/10. This obviously means that he and Tenten are meant to be, right? Right? XD I sense the beginnings of a beautiful crack pairing._


	24. Chapter 24

"Mother's trying to make Itachi get married," Sasuke admitted.

Naruko choked on her ramen, and after she managed to safely swallow, she shrieked, "WHAT?!"

Sasuke shuddered. "It's _horrible_. Now these random ladies keep coming by the house and won't stop pestering him. "Itachi-kun, would you like to go on a date?" "Itachi-kun, I made you a bento." "Itachi-kun, would you like to come over for some _special training?_""

Naruko was turning green. "_Special training?_" she repeated with a gag.

Sasuke looked like he'd eaten something sour. "Their words, not mine."

"Poor Itachi-nii... Hey, why's Aunty making him do that? How come?" Naruko demanded. She honestly didn't see what Itachi stood to gain through marriage. He was _Itachi._ The day he actually needed someone else was the day hell froze over.

Sasuke, picking up on her line of thought, said, "It's not about what Itachi wants or needs, it's all because mother wants grandchildren."

Naruko's face just then would have looked perfect on the cover of a horror movie. "He's only seventeen!"

Sasuke grimaced. "Clan politics are different. When I'm his age, mother will probably make me—" Then he realized who he was talking to, shut his mouth, and busied himself with his ramen.

Somewhere behind the counter, Ayame coughed in a way that sounded suspiciously like laughter.

Naruko was frozen, looking at him with wide, horrified eyes and an open mouth. "_You?_ Aunty's gonna make _you_ marry someone?"

Sasuke whirled on her, disgruntled. "Eventually! I'm not going to die _alone_, you know!"

Naruko scowled and jabbed viciously at her noodles. "Could'a fooled me," she muttered.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the insult. "At least I'm not some crazy airhead who no man will ever want to settle down with," he retorted.

Almost casually, Naruko jumped out of her seat and tipped Sasuke's stool over. He crashed with a yelp, and by the time he'd gathered himself Naruko was already gone.

And she'd left him with the bill.

Again.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_This topic of marriage and whatnot unfortunately (for me) is going to come up a lot more. We tread deeper and deeper into the wretched abyss of actual romance._


	25. Chapter 25

"Hey, Sasuke."

"What?"

"Sasuke?"

"I said what."

"Sasukeeee."

"_What?_" Sasuke finally snapped, turning to glare at the girl who was repeatedly poking his side.

She sniggered at his annoyance before throwing her hands above her head and allowing herself to fall back against the wooden dock, her blonde hair spilling around her like some golden halo. Sasuke sighed and shook his head. He'd learned that much of the time Naruko did things just for the hell of doing it, but that didn't stop him from getting incredibly annoyed all the same.

Resigned, he also laid himself back against the dock, and together they watched the setting sun paint the clouds orange and red.

"What's with that fan thingy?" Naruko eventually asked.

Sasuke turned his head towards her and raised a brow. "Fan thingy?" he repeated. "You mean the Uchiha fan?"

"Duh," Naruko said with an eye roll. "What else would I mean?"

"Fan thingy," Sasuke muttered to himself before apparently deciding to drop whatever insult he'd been brewing. He looked up again, and his eyes tracked the dying rays of light that spilled over the horizon. "Father once told me that next to the sharingan, the Uchiha's greatest power is fire. We continue to fan our flames and our strength grows."

"What, like the Will of Fire?"

Sasuke almost snorted. "No, not like the Will of Fire. That's a Senju ideal."

Naruko stared at him. "That's stupid," she decided.

Sasuke bristled. "_You're_ stupid," he shot back.

Naruko just snorted. "Fanning your flames? Seriously?"

Sasuke's irritation spiked. "Well what about yours? The Uzumaki swirl just looks like fishcake!"

"Hey, fishcake is totally awesome! It goes great with ramen! Besides, you can eat fishcake, but you can't eat a fan. Fishcake is obviously better."

Sasuke could only stare in utter bewilderment. "What kind of logic is that?" he wondered.

Naruko stuck out her tongue at him.


	26. Chapter 26

"This is stupid," Naruko declared.

Sasuke bit back a groan and lifted his gaze to his irksome best friend. "You don't have to come if you don't want to, Naruko. You _could_ just stay in class."

Naruko sniffed haughtily. "Shut up, shorty! Even if this is stupid, classes are way worse!"

Sasuke bristled. "I told you not to call me that, idiot!"

"And I told you I wouldn't listen, jerk!"

Sasuke threw his hands up in the air. "Are you going to help me or just get in my way?"

Naruko glared at him for a moment before looking down and kicking at the dirt. "... I guess I'll help..."

"Good." Sasuke nodded. "Set up the net on the ground over there. Make sure to nail down those spikes deep into the dirt."

"I know, I know. This isn't my first trap, ya know."

* * *

Naruko stared at the glaring, hissing furry beast that they'd managed to snare. She looked up at Sasuke who was readying an ink pad and a small book. "Why are we doing this?"

"To prove I'm just as good as Nii-san," Sasuke muttered, quickly flipping through the book.

Naruko blinked owlishly. "But you _aren't_."

Sasuke glared at her. "Well I'm _going _to be."

Naruko stuck out her tongue at him, and Sasuke (who was feeling particularly grouchy that day) very deliberately knocked over one of the stakes that was pinning the net over the cat. It immediately launched itself at Naruko with a demonic howl and hellfire in its eyes.

Naruko, rather understandably, ran away screaming her head off.


End file.
